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  • Amanda Rios

The Meatpacking Industry Vol II



i am a bacchanal personified a never-ending party of swapping my identity like shitty thrift store clothes i change it whenever it makes the joke funniest come and drink the wine from my lips the Pope excommunicated me when he took a sip sip sip and my teeth impaled his holy tongue—


i defile my body

constantly

with black ink and steel

it gives me a high

it gives me control

that i’ve never had


as i take my meat saw

saw saw

off all the parts

that serve me no purpose

luscious voluminous

chicken breast that i

cut c ut c u t

off my


so

my

chest

bleeding

pretty

forbidden

string

of

pearls

drip

drip

dripping

from

my

incisions


my meat,

thick and crimson raw,

splattered on a wheeling cart

unforgiving udder,

departed,

a soul for a soul

a piece of the body for rebirth

if only, if only


if only i had the courage to pick up the bone saw



i hate looking in the mirror i love looking in the mirror

i’m not pretty enough it boosts my ego

i’m not masculine enough cause i know i’m pretty and sexy and hot and masc

everyone still thinks i’m a girl the power of queerness

everyone still thinks i’m a girly girl woman girl the power of flattening your chest


the power of the

illusion of

control



look me in my dark brown eyes,

saucers, dirt galaxy,

and tell me that i’m pretty.

aren’t i pretty?

don’t i look masculine enough?

don’t i look like a man?

Mami, stop rolling your eyes,

and say yes.

please say yes.

tell me i’m a handsome man,

that i’m the son you always wanted.

i don’t believe you.


-


Art by Jack Bullard


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